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I finished reading Abby Johnson’s book, Unplanned.  I’ll start off by saying it wasn’t the Planned Parenthood-bashing style book I’d expected it to be.  This book affirmed many of the sentiments I’ve begun to feel and realizations I’ve begun to materialize … Continue reading

Resources On Life

Why We March For Life

Today is the 2012 March For Life!  I hope all goes peacefully for the marchers, especially the St. Francis de Sales group and all college kids.  Last year over 400,000 marchers protested Roe v Wade.  hmmmm…let’s see how many news stations cover that, and actually air the massive amount of young people filling the street in front of the Capitol… 

If that lump of cells, that zygote, that fetus, is not human -doesn’t have human DNA (which it does)- then what sort of alien grows on its own in a woman’s uterus?  I don’t wanna be putting my rosary on anyone’s ovaries- put religion aside and look at BASIC biology!  I “put my rosary” on the voiceless, innocent human being at the mercy of an ignorant-to-basic-human-biology’s momma.

If I hadn’t chosen life for Lexington -he was unplanned, after all- he would never be here.  No, not in the next pregnancy, or years later.  Each conception is unique, each human conceived in the womb has a unique set of DNA. So the idea of sparing myself the worry of having a baby at that moment by “terminating the pregnancy” (aka “Killing my son, Lexington”), would literally TERMINATE him.  Him and his little quirks, his artistic flair that he already possesses at 2 1/2 years old!  He would never return to my womb.  I would never know him, I would never know what his little voice sounds like, I would never see his smile.

[I just had to holler at him, “I hope you’re being nice and sharing with Emmett!” and he responded, “I hope not!”

My reasons for defending the right to life began in science.  My faith picked up any ends that science could not answer and supported that each human life is worthy of the chance to live, to grow, to pursue love and happiness.  No matter under what circumstance a human may be conceived, killing that human is not the answer.  Killing that human will not benefit the mother. Does anyone really think a woman who has chosen abortion really goes tap-dancing out of the place that maimed the insides of her uterus? In fact, we now know that abortion hurts the mother: psychologically, and physically. We know that abortion increases the risk of cancer.  The link above give gives those statistics.

Teen and pregnant? Think about all the sides.  One girl put it this way, “I realize now that 9 months of pain [pregnancy and embarrassment] is better than a lifetime of pain”

And at the bare minimum, I wonder, if the individual who thinks abortion is right, and good for women: have you witnessed an abortion?  Have you witnessed one of your sisters being stripped of her life, her opportunity, her equality?  I have.  You can too.  
If anyone can watch this, and not be rocked to their core, remain impasse, completely cold to the life that just crumbled in front of our very eyes, then I can only hope that those images will haunt the individual forever. Its a terrible event to watch.  
But so was lynching human beings because of their skin color.  At one time in our shameful history, because of their skin color, a black man/woman was not considered a human being, worthy of rights LEGALLY..
So also was gassing, and incinerating human beings because of their religion.  One ruler mandated that Jews were not worthy of human rights.

We study these painful images to remind us to never have it repeated.  Study an abortion.  It should not be allowed in such a beautiful nation.

(Obviously, this video contains images in the most graphic sense possible, if you’re not ready to have your heart changed, come back and watch it later, please.)

Resources On Life

The Right Choice

Last year, I published a very unoriginal but modernized note on Facebook about a very special unplanned pregnancy.  I want to share it again, here:

“ One day, a young girl, who was engaged to her fiancé, became pregnant before she was married. She did not become pregnant by her fiancé either. There was someone else.

This woman did not become pregnant by her own choice. It came to her, unsuspecting and innocent, at a time in her life when everything seemed to be going just like she’d always dreamed and wanted.

But no. THIS had to ruin everything.

She was scared. Embarrassed. Shocked.

“Why me?” she must have wondered, “What are people going to say?! What will my fiancé think?”

Her fiancé, unable to fathom the woman he was about to marry shaming him in such a way, decided to leave her quietly without embarrassing her publicly.

Before the man left his pregnant fiancée, he had a crazy dream that she was pregnant by the Holy Spirit. And in his dream an angel told him not to leave his fiancé, but instead, to marry her.

This man, named Joseph, woke up and having great strength of trust, married his fiancée, despite what people would think of him: a whimp, a pushover, a weak unmasculine man.

This woman, was also visited by an angel who told her who the father was.

What did she say?

“No! It’s my body and my life! I want to do other things first! I’m not ready! This isn’t fair! I don’t want a baby right now, with all the trouble they bring. I need to get to know my husband and spend quality time alone with him for a few years before I have a whiny baby!”

No, this woman, named Mary, with immense strength of trust and courage, said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be [done] to me according to your word. “(Luke 1:38)

Mary could have chosen to take a medication that would make the baby “go away”. And she definitely could have gone to see a doctor who could “take the small glob of nothingness” out of her belly, and solve all of her problems. No one would ever have to know.

There were ways to do this, even in her time.

But no, 2,000 years ago, a young, brave girl and her strong fiancé chose Life.

2,000 years ago, this couple chose Jesus Christ.

What would you do, especially if you didn’t feel ready?”

I Chose Life. And his name is Lexington Anthony.

At 23, I was bartending, serving at my favorite restaurant, working two other jobs and finishing up college. At 23 I was going going going all the time- and it was F U N. I would work hard all day, and at 11pm, when I cleaned my last table for the night, I would go out with friends and enjoy the rest of the night. I hardly slept, never washed my hair but I always felt amazing: tired but spirited, grungy but fresh, scattered but I meant it to be!
I got pregnant.
That fast.

I wasn’t ready. Wasn’t prepared.

The night I found out, Craig and I were watching Young Frankenstein waiting for the three minutes to pass in order to see the results of the test.

The summer had just ended: Bonfires, sand volleyball at the bar, sitting outside late at night anticipating the moment a shooting star would streak across the sky were all fresh reminiscence in my head- like the lingering smell of chlorine in your hair after you’ve been at the pool all day. Autumn was approaching and Craig and I were happy to be celebrating his birthday in 2 days.
But I’d missed my period.
I said to him, “what if I’m pregnant?”
He took a deep breath and said, “…then I guess you are. …honestly, I’d be excited”

It was one of those things that you go through life thinking, “that will never be me. That will never happen to me. Those people are just stupid, or they deserved what they got (like it’s some punishment)”
So with that considered, I took the pregnancy test not really believing that it would show up positive.

But, when I finally got the courage to pick up the thin stick and behold the electronic “PREGNANT” staring at me from the screen, my world flipped out.
Suddenly, the summer, that fresh in my mind, carefree awesome summer was gone. Like 5 years ago gone.

I. Am. Pregnant.
I didn’t really believe it.
But I did.
Rush of thoughts. Rush of emotions.
Rush of panic -sheer panic- most of all.
What was I supposed to do?
How was I supposed to tell my family! My devoutly Christian family! What shame this would bring upon my parents! How would people look at me! How would I be treated!

Those were my first thoughts. In the 5minutes after I reconciled in my mind that I actually was pregnant.

Then the next two weeks were a living hell inside my head.
Not only was I sick to my stomach with morning sickness, we hadn’t told a soul about it.
I couldn’t contain it! It was too much on my unprepared mind!
I cried on Craig’s shoulder in earnest. Sobbing. Standing outside in the October air. He had to go to work and I was getting ready to leave his parent’s house to go home.
Craig just let me cry. Stroked my hair.
After calming, he left, and I followed in my VW Golf. He turned left and I continued to my parent’s house.
Sunny day, early afternoon, no traffic, no distractions, no music playing. I rounded a small curve in the road, my eyes flickered down to the clock to check the time. I looked up.
My car neared too close to the edge of the road. I over-corrected. Then I over-corrected again. It felt like a bull had it’s horns in the hood of my car and was shaking it’s head…

My car rolled 4 times, through a heavy wooden horse fence, into a farmer’s front yard.
The doctor in the emergency room told me that each time a car rolls in an accident, the chance for fatal injuries increases by 50%.
Simple enough math for me. Car rolled 4 times = 200% chance that I should not be alive today. I received a burn on my arm from airbags deploying.

Of course I had no idea how pregnant I was so the doctor took my blood and announced to the room (my family had rushed to meet me there) I was 4 weeks pregnant.
The room was silent as I looked around with my eyes filled with shamed tears. But before my sense of hearing could comprehend it, I saw smiles and was being hugged by my mother, father and brother who were all present.

In the first 2 weeks of October, 2008, I encountered more trauma and stress than I’d ever met in my short life. Grappling with why I was alive was angering! I’ve mourned beautiful friends who’ve died in car accidents. And I’ve “tsk-ed” and shaken my head to news that someone I knew was pregnant out of wedlock. And then here I was, alive and ashamed.

I was met by some friends and family with silence and coldness about being pregnant. It weighed on me like a stone. I wanted to be loved but just wasn’t. I had no idea what being pregnant was going to do to my body (had never even thought about it before) so I was depressed that I was getting “fat”.
I would see girls my age having that care-free lifestyle I knew only months before, skinny, tan and turning heads. I envied them with bitter tears.

I went with my mom- just me and my mom- to try on wedding dresses.
I stood on the platform, looking at myself in the mirror, wearing the dress I’d picked out, and I saw the little bump.
“This is not what it’s supposed to be like,” I thought to myself.
“I should be here with a handful of my closest family and friends, laughing, excited, with a glass of champagne, skinny and tan, taking pictures and smiling”
But I wasn’t.
I looked at that stupid bump sticking out from under the sash in my dress and a voice came to me, “this little boy will cherish and love you more. This is true happiness.”

And that voice snapped me awake. I stared at my reflection realizing I was more happy at that moment than I would have been if I’d have been there in my ‘ideal’ circumstance. The ideal was more superficial, now that I had perspective on why I was there.
THIS was real.
This bump, this stupid bump, would be the greatest love I’d ever experienced beyond marriage.

And it is. 2 years later, two difficult years of losing jobs, a place to live, and all the other turmoil that comes along with financial distress, I would not have changed a damn thing.

Lexington is a unique and separate little life.

Many times you’ll hear some older person talking about their life in a boring, unsatisfied tone saying, “yeah I coulda done this or that, but life happened…”

YES. Life. It happened.
Lexington happened.
He was supposed to happen. He is here and has exploded my world with warm, musical, blue, sweet LIFE!

Thank you Jesus Christ for my little boy on this day. He is yours always, but Craig and I are better people with him in our otherwise aimless, wasteful life. What a gift. <3